Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pennies of Prosperity Consciousness

                "11, 12, 13, 14…"  I sifted through my change purse, which was getting heavy with pennies.  I pulled out exact change for my lunch, handing a few singles and this fist full of change over to the drive-thru attendee while at the same time, mumbling an apology.  "Sorry for all the pennies…"  As I drove away, I realized that this wasn't the first time that I had said that to someone.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I do it almost every time.  "Sorry for the pennies." 


                Why am I apologizing?  Aren't pennies legal currency?  Don't 50 of them have the same purchasing power as two shiny silver quarters, which will pay my toll on 400 to Inner Quest? I don't apologize for quarters, so why pennies?  Hm.                 


                A penny is the smallest value coin, but there is power of attainment in it nonetheless.  Somewhere along the way though, I started seeing them as an embarrassing sign of poverty or lack. Huh?  I realized that I had been judging the penny as "less than", even though it too is a tool to get what I want.  Come to think of it… a penny, however humble, is just like the little efforts we make in our lives to manifest the desires of our heart.  Then it hit me that I have been judging my small efforts too!                 


-Going for a walk ("but it's not a long walk, which is what I really should be doing")…               

-Meditate for 10 minutes ("but I should be meditating for an hour")…               

-Losing a pound ("but it should have been two pounds")…               

-Showing up for God on a Sunday ("but I really should be going on Tuesdays too)…                


              In the face of my over-arching life goals, these efforts can seem like only drops in the bucket. Spirit nudged me to flip the coin of my perspective!  Small efforts over time can equal big results, and they should not be discounted!  After all, we have to start somewhere… Step by step, minute by minute, pound by pound, Sunday by Sunday, we get to where we want to be.  I shouldn't judge those small efforts as less than perfectly enough.  I am perfectly enough.  Just like those pennies were perfectly enough to buy my lunch that day.

Love and blessings,

Saturday, June 25, 2011

God Moment

Confession of the Day:  I'm not always great at listening to guidance.  I'm not talking about when a friend or family member gives you advice.  I'm talking about that "small still voice" that whispers the wisdom that is needed in the moment.  "Slow down as you come over this hill."  (Bam, there's a speed trap!)  "Check the nuts, they are about to burn."  (Aha!  Perfectly toasted!)  "Be careful what you say to this person."  (Later a story of betrayal.)

It's hit or miss.  Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't.  I usually regret it when I don't.  I think that guidance, intuition is actually Guidance with a capital "G".  The Universe's way (or God's way) of directing you on your path.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Ya Gotta Start Somewhere

I have stacks of journals.  Stacks and stacks of them.  And I'm pretty damn sure that all of them are unfinished.  I like to write, but secretly think that someone will read what I write and be horrified or judgmental or just plain bored.  But, this kind of writing, the one where you pick up a pen or commit to your keystrokes should solely be about me.  Whatever genius or nonsense or bullshit I've got to pontificate in the moment.

Amongst the stacks of unfinished journals, I've also got books of topics with pages for suggestions of things you might want to write about... (Yes, I paid money for these as well)
Where do I start?  Beginning to end, end to beginning, or strictly at random?  Shit.  (Just pick something, and write about it, and see where it takes you!)  Ok, here goes...

Question:  Who do you admire and why?

– Verb (used with object)
1.  to regard with wonder, pleasure, or approval.

1.  esteem, revere, venerate.

I admire my friend Geema.  She is fearless, beautiful, generous of heart, and funny as hell.  I admire that she will pack a bag, go to a foreign country on her own, and find new friends wherever she is.  She's like a magnet, drawing people with stories and open minds to her like a moth to a flame.

I love people, but have great social anxiety.  When at a party, I'm usually the wallflower, rather than dancing in the spotlight.  In my dreams, I dance freely, without care for what others think.  In reality, in a crowded place, I quickly retreat to the corners.  Because there's a better chance there that I'll be able to find out what your story is (and actually be able to hear you). 

Who do you admire and why?


Monday, June 20, 2011

A Writer Writes, Always

This is a line from a quirky 80's movie.  Can anyone guess?  Perhaps someone more famous than Billy Crystal said it before, but it's a line that has always stuck with me.  Am I a writer?  What makes a writer? 

A stream of consciousness poured out on paper?   I would have to say that I'm no writer then; because I've got stacks of journals enthusiastically begun that fizzle out and end up as sad testaments to my dreams of being a "writer".  If I am to be painfully honest, I must confess that if I continue tirelessly scribing every thought and whimsy and spastic emotion, that the inescapable truth will be revealed.  That, just because I write doesn't mean that I'm a writer.

Quizzically yours,